Sunday, January 25, 2009

Who knew?

Who knew that autism could be so beautiful? When you look at this precious face do you see the stereotypical disabled, rocking back and forth, spinning, grunting child with autism? Probably not. When I look at this picture I see perfection. I see love. I see my life.



Would you believe that the little girl in this picture spends most of her days crying, screaming, and trying to injure herself in anyway she possibly can. Most of the time she beats her head against the floor (preferably hardwood or tile) the hat hides the bruises well. Sometimes she resorts to slapping herself against the ears, pulling her hair, or biting her own wrist.

Why?

Why sweet girl?

It breaks my heart and most days I want to just lie down next to her and bang my own head against the floor in frustration. Sometimes I think if we could fix just one thing on Avery's list of challenges this would be the first thing. Just when I think it can't get any worse it does and I wonder if God is still listening to our pleas for mercy. . .



Who knew autism could be so beautiful?

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6 comments:

Nikki said...

You have said it perfectly. She is absolutely beautiful and melts my heart everytime I see her. I know I don't have to live with the endless pain and hurt, but when when I see Avery I see a beautiful little 3 year old with a glimmer in her eyes. God has a plan for her - we just don't know what it is yet - only time will tell - keep doing what you are doing - you are one of the most courages mommies I know!

Bethany said...

Awww what a sweet one your Avery girl is. As Nikki said, she is absolutely beautiful. She has a fighting spirit and I can only imagine the lives she will continue to change as she gets older. I know that life with Avery is not easy by any stretch of the imagination, but one look in those big green eyes and it is worth every second of the pain and frustration.

Ladysam said...

I hope you dont mind my intrusion. I have to say, I KNOW that the face of autism is beautiful, your little girl is precious and so is her sister! I have a son with autism (Asperger's) and we have difficult struggles every day. He has two sisters, one who is 6 (she is our glue) and one is 2 (who just doesnt understand her brother most of the time) but at the end of the day...I count my blessings because it is ME that gets to hold this beautiful child, I am the one learning from him and I am blessed because of him and what he teaches me! I loved your blog!

Linkis Family Love said...

She is GORGEOUS! Who is to say she isn't perfect! God made her, so I'd say she is more than perfect! May she be blessed abundantly!
Kelli <><<

Our Family Is His said...

It can be so beautiful. I have a 3 1/2 year old son to prove it. I see his pain and want to rip it from his little body, but he looks up at me with those huge blue eyes and my heart melts. He comes to me and says, "Mommy, I uv us" and how can I not just envelope such perfection in my arms and hug tight. Yes, like you, I have seen the beauty in Autism.

We are currently seeing professionals to determine if we will have two beautiful Autistic sons or just one and one with something completely different.

Avery is a dream. She is so cute and that look in the first picture... priceless.

Rebecca said...

Ohhh, such a sweet post. You have a beautiful family inside and out! :)