Sunday, January 25, 2009

Who knew?

Who knew that autism could be so beautiful? When you look at this precious face do you see the stereotypical disabled, rocking back and forth, spinning, grunting child with autism? Probably not. When I look at this picture I see perfection. I see love. I see my life.

Would you believe that the little girl in this picture spends most of her days crying, screaming, and trying to injure herself in anyway she possibly can. Most of the time she beats her head against the floor (preferably hardwood or tile) the hat hides the bruises well. Sometimes she resorts to slapping herself against the ears, pulling her hair, or biting her own wrist.


Why sweet girl?

It breaks my heart and most days I want to just lie down next to her and bang my own head against the floor in frustration. Sometimes I think if we could fix just one thing on Avery's list of challenges this would be the first thing. Just when I think it can't get any worse it does and I wonder if God is still listening to our pleas for mercy. . .

Who knew autism could be so beautiful?

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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

keep it Simple

I've been thinking a lot about the whole New Year's resolution thing. It's almost time for people to start falling off the wagon isn't it? I know I've missed two days of planned exercising and I didn't even 'resolve' to lose weight. I'd like to be healthier and shed a few pounds, but am I resolved to do it?

Instead I've decided to do something a little different this year. I plan to keep it simple. Every morning as I stand at my kitchen sink mixing meds and chocolate milk (not together) and running through my mental to-do list, I stare at this little black sign. It's been there since shortly after we moved in. I'm not sure why I bought it or even what "Simplify" signified to me at the time. Probably I just liked how it looked.

But that's what I am going to do this year.


No complicated resolutions or plans. Just to simply enjoy this life, as complicated as it may be. I plan to simply be happy. To simply be.

Sounds simple doesn't it? I'll let you know how it goes.

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