Sunday, October 18, 2009

In spite of it all

Certainly life has thrown our little family its fair share of curve balls. Just when we think the storm clouds have moved on and we hang up our umbrellas, it begins to rain. And in our family, when it rains, it usually pours.

When Avery started having seizures again a few weeks ago, I took it really hard. I cried everytime I thought about the seizures for a couple of days. I just so wanted them to be gone for good this time. I never wanted to have the conversations about the risks of brain surgery again. I didn't want to consider whether to put her on some new medication and weigh the long list of potential side effects against the chance that it might stop her seizures. I just didn't want to deal with any of it. At all. But what choice do we have?

What amazes me the most about having a child with a chronic debiliitating illness is that no matter how bad things get, no matter how much you feel like throwing in the towel. . . life goes on. There are meals to be cooked, beds to be made, and stories to be read. There are spelling words to study and dance classes and doctor's appointments. In spite of it all.

In spite of it all, our family finds reasons to be happy. Almost all the time. We smile more than we frown and we laugh more than we cry. We choose happiness.

In spite of it all we go to birthday parties.

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We visit the pumpkin patch.

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We plant a tree together and watch it grow.

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We do homework. (With Avery's help:)

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We play together.

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And we love.

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Some days I don't feel like I can take another second of the sadness, the worry, the stress and the hurt of watching Avery battle this disease. But then she fits a shape into a shape sorter and claps for herself, takes a drink out of a big girl cup and sets it back down on the table without spilling a drop, and smiles her big beautiful smile.

And we find a way to keep going.

In spite of it all.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great job putting it all into words. Your girls are amazing.
Amanda Mom to Kelly 24 mths w/TSC

monica wood said...

I have a 23 month old son who was diagnosed at ten months. There are days when I feel as though I am the only one who feels the way you do.

Nobody in my family understands. They say I am overreacting and need to stop worrying. But I cant. I wake up three or four times a night just to see if he's breathing. My family does not understand, and my husband has left because he says Im crazy. Its not crazy, its being a mother. Thank you for letting me know that I am not crazy and that my feelings and frustration with the seizures and TS are okay and normal. Monica1277@msn.com

Lisa said...

Oh Monica! I don't know how you found me, but I'm so glad you did! You are NOT crazy! And you are not alone. . . oh! I see that you left your email address and I'm so glad!! I will get in touch with you soon! Hang in there!

Avery's mommy

Laura Garrett said...

Ok you've got me a little choked up!! TS is a nasty one but you guys seem to do such an awesome job at keeping on! Love the pics. We too just planted a tree at our new home, enjoyed a picnic at the park and went to the pumpkin patch. It's hard to do "normal" family things most days. Despite all the really hard days, like you "we choose happiness" Take care Lisa :)
Laura Garrett
Cody 20mths w/ TS & Ethan 3.5 w/o

Wylie said...

God bless your precious family! Wonderful pics!!! Be joyful!
www.shoutajoyfulnoise.com

RootsAndWingsCo said...

I was just blog hopping and found my way here. I love this post!! My son has food allergies so bad he is on a feeding tube. I feel so much of what you wrote here! Life does keep moving forward...

Hugs to you and your sweet little girl!!

Anjeanette